ScoreMySiteHeadline
Your headline doesn't say what you sell
By Caleb Gross · Updated · Based on Jev AI scores of 116 pages
Short answer
If a stranger can't tell what you sell from your headline alone, rewrite it to name the outcome and who it's for, then use the subheadline to say how it works.
The headline is the first thing almost every visitor reads, and often the only thing. If it reads like a slogan (“Work, reimagined” or “The future of teams”), visitors have to scroll or guess to find out what you actually sell. Most won't.
33%
of the 116 landing pages Jev scored have this issue
6.9/10
average headline clarity score across the leaderboard
Why it matters
Headline clarity carries the most weight in the conversion score (35%) because nothing below it gets read if the top doesn't make sense. A clear headline lets the right people self-select in seconds and keeps them scrolling.
Signs your page has this problem
- Someone who has never heard of you can't say what the product does after reading only the headline.
- The headline would still be true if a competitor put it on their site.
- It names a feeling or a category (“productivity”, “growth”) instead of an outcome.
- The subheadline is doing all the explaining.
How to fix it
- 1
Name the outcome, not the category
Say what the customer gets: “Send invoices that get paid in 3 days” beats “Smarter invoicing”.
- 2
Say who it's for
Adding the audience (“for Shopify stores”, “for solo founders”) makes the page instantly relevant to the right people.
- 3
Use the subheadline for the how
One sentence on how it works: “Connect Stripe, pick a template, and reminders go out automatically.”
- 4
Test it on a stranger
Show only the headline for five seconds and ask what you sell. If they can't answer, rewrite it.
A headline formula that works
Most clear SaaS headlines follow one of three shapes: [Outcome] for [audience] (“Payroll for remote teams in 150 countries”), [Do the job] without [the pain] (“Ship docs without chasing engineers”), or [Verb] [specific result] in [time] (“Launch a waitlist page in 10 minutes”).
Write ten versions using these shapes, then pick the one a customer would repeat to a friend. Clever can come later, once the meaning is clear.
Examples by product type
Developer tool: “Error tracking that tells you which deploy broke it.” Marketing tool: “Turn one blog post into a week of social posts.” Finance tool: “Close your books in days, not weeks.” Consumer app: “Learn Spanish in 10 minutes a day, from real conversations.”
Notice each one names a concrete job and a result you can picture.
When a short brand headline is fine
Famous brands can get away with abstract headlines because visitors already know what they do. If most of your traffic comes from people who have never heard of you, you don't have that luxury yet.
Before and after
Before
Work, reimagined.
After
Turn customer calls into tasks your team actually finishes.
Checklist
- A stranger can say what you sell after 5 seconds
- The headline names an outcome, not a category
- The audience is clear from the headline or subheadline
- The subheadline explains how in one sentence
- No word in it needs explaining
Pages that get this right
The highest headline clarity scores on the ScoreMySite leaderboard.
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Fast Ministry Graphics
Questions
How long should a landing page headline be?
Usually 6–12 words. Short enough to read in one glance, long enough to name the outcome and who it's for.
Should my headline include my product name?
Rarely. Your logo already shows the name. Use the headline to say what the product does for the visitor.
How do I test if my headline is clear?
Show the first screen to someone outside your industry for five seconds, hide it, and ask what the product does and who it's for. Run your page through a grader like ScoreMySite for a second opinion.
Does your page make this mistake? Find out in seconds.
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More landing page mistakes
Headline
Buzzwords and jargon in your headline
“AI-powered, all-in-one platform” tells visitors nothing they can picture.
Headline
A subheadline that repeats the headline
The second line restates the first instead of explaining how it works.
Headline
Not saying who it's for
A page for “everyone” doesn't feel made for anyone.
Call to action
Generic or high-friction call to action
“Submit” or “Learn more” buttons, or a demo form as the only way in.
Call to action
No button in the first screen
Ready visitors have to scroll to find a way to start.
Call to action
No call to action at the end of the page
Visitors who read everything reach the bottom with nothing to click.